On Sunday, August 25, 2019, I went on my first date with a white guy. I’ll call him Toby.
I have always been open-minded about people. I’m not one to generalize so if someone attractive asks me out, I’m willing to explore the situation.
I have an off-and-on relationship with tinder. On one hand, I despise it because the majority of users just want a hookup. It gets annoying when you aren’t about that life.
On the other hand, it’s cool because I can eliminate people accordingly. I’m picky. It’s nice to get a glimpse of a person without having to speak to them.
A Little Background Info
I ran a 5K in NJ with a friend and drove to Wildwood for the rest of the weekend. Her plans changed so she left Sunday afternoon but we booked it until Monday, so I stayed. I didn’t just wanna sit in the room or be alone that night so I updated my Tinder profile. I let the public know I was in Wildwood until Monday.
My friend and I got drinks and put on a movie and she was swiping for me on tinder. She asked what the blue star was for? She gave the phone back saying, “Toby seems cool.” He had super liked me so I was like, “why not?” 🤷🏽♀️
I matched with a guy from Croatia with a beautiful body but his intentions were clear. He only wanted to come to my hotel for sex after he got off work at 9:00 PM on Sunday.
Sunday rolled around and Toby followed up asking if I wanted to get together. I said sure (in my head) and typed yea. My response was sure because I suspected that his pics were not going to be an accurate representation because they seemed to span several years. I was correct. He had put on a few pounds but it was fine, I wasn’t looking to get married.
The first thing out of his mouth after he greeted me with a weak hug was that I really was gorgeous. He explained that I look better than my photos. That isn’t always the case with some of the women he’s met. I simply wished I could’ve said the same about him.
The second thing out of his mouth was that I spoke really well 🤦🏽♀️. This eventually led to a conversation about microaggressions. I didn’t think he asked me out and drove all that way to be an ass, but it revealed that he had other expectations. He initially got defensive and said he didn’t mean it that way but then he asked questions and showed understanding.
2 Hours Later
He walked me back to my hotel. We hugged.
Me: I’m heading up but I enjoyed our conversation.
Him: Are you going alone?
Me: Yes.
Him: He hugged me again. Have a good night
Me: Drive safely
He let me know when he got home and shared that he, “wanted me so bad”. He sent a dick pic as evidence 🤦🏽♀️. I responded with 🙈 and said something about warning people first but decided one lecture was enough for the day.
We eventually unmatched on tinder and archived the chat.
At the time, I couldn’t say that I would never go out with a white guy again but I can now. I knew there definitely would not be a second date with Toby but I have zero interest in white men these days. Someday, I’ll write a lil blog about dick pic etiquette; I’ll keep it short though 😂 🤣