I believe I have a healthy relationship, an abundance mindset, and high-risk tolerance when it comes to money but it took a lot for me to get here. It all began in childhood. I understood money at a young age and I began collecting other people’s spare change as a kid. Obviously, my parents didn’t like this. They taught me the error of my approach and created ways for me to earn money (chores and good grades). At 16, I started working at Dunkin Donuts and saving. Since then, I have always had money and security, but I have always wanted more.

As I got older patience has been my greatest struggle. In moving too fast and not taking the time to discern “opportunities” I have fallen prey to a few scams. I used to carry a lot of shame around them but I gained the wisdom to avoid my past mistakes.

Negative Relationship Experiences

• While working at Dunkin Donuts, I met a guy who involved me in a scam which resulted in a $600 debit. The bank returned $550 but I lost $50 because my pin number was compromised. I didn’t suspect him until another girl I knew mentioned something years later.
• My grandmother and Uncle had timeshares that I visited in my youth. I thought they were a good investment in my early 20s, but it was a waste of money. I got out of it years later with nothing to show for the thousands of dollars I gave them.
• Before “Scam Likely” was birthed, I answered a call about consolidating my student loans. I wanted to consolidate my loans into one payment so I was happy to give them all of my info. They charged me like $300 to do something I could have done myself for free. Years later, I checked my account and saw that about $600 of payments weren’t actually applied to my loans. They were skimming here and there. I shut it all down but I was again out of money that could have gone to better things like investing to create financial stability for the future.
• Last but not least, I sent $800 through Zelle for a Macbook Pro that should have cost $1200 and never received the laptop. It looked official but it was not. They were hard pills to swallow but my losses weren’t as devastating as they could have been. I still need a new laptop though.

Wisdom Gained

My relationship with money was rocky for some time. I became discouraged and distrustful of everything and everyone. Over the years I recognized that I had to suffer those small losses to prevent bigger ones. Now I understand the tactics and don’t make quick decisions for “deals” that are too good to be true. 

As I begin to engage with the stock market my need for patience/discipline is still evident. I have been looking for great deals but I realize that it takes time and have been studying the market. A major difference is that I trust my intuition. I will freeze if things don’t feel right because I have experienced what happens when they feel wrong. Recognizing that while there are multitudes that seek to do me harm, people are inherently good. I can hold both perspectives and take necessary precautions to be safe.

For my readers and dreamers:

How would you describe your relationship with money?

Scammers are gonna scam. What are their new tools? What have you seen?

Aside from financial lessons, what have you had to learn the hard way?